:thumb39705004:
:thumb47053432:

So, 2008 is almost over. I don't think I've had a year this insane in a long time. It has been a year of heartaches and mending. Of finding new love and moving on, and finally getting some where with my career.

I found and then lost my old house. Sexist landlords should be castrated. I ended an abusive relationship and found a wonderful new one. I lost my first lady love, and still mourn it. I found two wonderful acting jobs, one helped me get the other which may lead to some indie film work. I moved a house in to an apartment in under 4 days, something I didn't think I could do.

It's been one hell of an emotional roller coaster, and once again I feel that I have come out stronger and wiser for it all. To the friends who have stayed by my side through it all, thank you. You are more a family to me than the ones I've known since birth. To new friends who are still getting used to me...I get easier to deal with, I swear! To the amazing directors at my first ever paid acting job, though you may never read this, thank you from the bottom of my heart for fighting to keep me last year so that I could return this year. Your act of kindness and your faith in me has helped to open doors I have only dreamed of.

To my "real" family, who will certainly never read this, I have a few things to say. Since I came in to the family, I have been the outcast. The one who didn't belong. And yet you expected me to grow up to be just like the rest of you. Yet here I am, facial piercings, tattoos, and working in a haunted house. Not to mention the nude and fetish modeling you don't know about. You have ignored be for the last 22 years of my life, once the novelty wore off. I know that this holiday season all the major accomplishments I have had this year will be over shadowed by the fact that one of you is pregnant. There will be no congratulations for me, no pats on the back. Even if there was nothing else taking up the spotlight there wouldn't be, because none of you are truly proud of me. And someday, you will regret that. You will regret ignoring the baby when it's the baby's turn to ignore you.

As the new year dawns, new things are coming for me. I am jumping back in to my modeling and forcing myself to move on from the damage done by a previously trusted photographer. Not only that, but there may be a great new camera in my future, and I am looking to do some work from that side of the lense, as well as getting back to my digital art. So, though I am jaded and a bit weary, I look to the coming year with hope. It is a fresh start, and I intend to take advantage of that. No resolutions, simply goals. I wonder where I will be this time next year...

To those who may have S.A.D (Seasonal Affective Disorder) like myself, I have found something that really helps, especially if you are a night owl like me and rarely get sunlight in the winter. Both GE and Phillips have started making full spectrum...I have them in all my light fixtures, and so far, so good! They are cheap, come in multiple shapes, sizes and wattages. I suggest trying them.

My good friends:
*Ironheart-Images
~Rashadan
~dreamdark
~TDVGraphics


Groups: ~SouthernGothicBelles (Wow, we need an avatar...and some deviations!)




DAA Registered Visitors badge #62